A Sky, cable and digital tv forum. Digital TV Banter

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » Digital TV Banter forum » Digital TV Newsgroups » uk.tech.digital-tv (Digital TV - General)
Site Map Home Register Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

uk.tech.digital-tv (Digital TV - General) (uk.tech.digital-tv) Discussion of all matters technical in origin related to the reception of digital television transmissions, be they via satellite, terrestrial or cable. Advertising is forbidden, with no exceptions.

Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old April 30th 17, 04:11 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Bill Wright[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,618
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

Aerial riggers I have known
Part One: Jimmy

It was a long time ago in a strange land called Doncaster. Jimmy had a
Beatles haircut and Rolf Harris glasses. His wife had a shop and she
used to keep him, really, because his efforts to install aerials can’t
have ever made much money. He spent most of his time going back to jobs
and trying to get the customer a decent TV picture. He had some firmly
held and totally erroneous ideas. He would only work in Doncaster, in
the town, ‘because of the petrol cost’. The truth was that his battered
estate car broke down such a lot that he didn’t like to go too far.

In Doncaster he pointed his TV aerials at Cusworth Hall, ‘because it’s
in the same direction as the TV station.’ That was actually true in the
town centre but well wrong everywhere else.

It was Jim’s belief that the concept of channel groups was a scam by the
manufacturers, so he would use Gp A and Gp B aerials interchangeably. I
showed him a Group CD aerial one time and he said, “That’s a funny
little ****er! What’s it for?”

He ‘knew’ that FM radio came from Belmont and nowhere else, and Belmont
was ‘towards Armthorpe’ so he would always point his FM aerials at
Armthorpe pit tip, and ignore the fact that the customer’s tuner would
still find Holme Moss giving the strongest signal. As it happened Jim
used three-element FM aerials that didn’t have a folded dipole or balun,
and these matched the cable so badly that most of the signal was picked
up on the coaxial outer and passed up to the aerial terminals, so really
it didn’t matter which way the aerial was pointing. There might as well
have not been an aerial at all.

Jim rung me up one evening. “You won’t believe what’s happened Bill!”
He’d been picked out of the Yellow Pages with a pin by some imbecilic
council officer and called out at 9pm to a large communal system. He’d
poked around in a tap-off unit and shorted out the line power. “There
was a spark and now all the tellys have gone off completely on the whole
estate! How can you get a spark from an aerial cable? There shouldn’t be
electricity on it! Why have all the tellys gone off? What shall I do?
HELP!” I tried to explain about fuses and said that he’d have to find
the head end but he said it was all too much and it was doing his head
in so he just left it. I don’t know who finally fixed it but it wasn’t me.

Jim was a nice bloke, in the same way that a Labrador is nice dog. You’d
trust a nice old lab to not eat your baby and to generally **** in the
right place, but you wouldn’t expect it to wash the pots or drive the
kids to school. So it was with Jim.
  #2  
Old April 30th 17, 08:55 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Brian Gaff
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,505
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

You missed the part that some aerial riggers stripped coax with their teeth,
so introducing damp into the connector and after a while making their teeth
drop out.
Brian

--
----- -
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please!
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
news
Aerial riggers I have known
Part One: Jimmy

It was a long time ago in a strange land called Doncaster. Jimmy had a
Beatles haircut and Rolf Harris glasses. His wife had a shop and she used
to keep him, really, because his efforts to install aerials can't have
ever made much money. He spent most of his time going back to jobs and
trying to get the customer a decent TV picture. He had some firmly held
and totally erroneous ideas. He would only work in Doncaster, in the town,
'because of the petrol cost'. The truth was that his battered estate car
broke down such a lot that he didn't like to go too far.

In Doncaster he pointed his TV aerials at Cusworth Hall, 'because it's in
the same direction as the TV station.' That was actually true in the town
centre but well wrong everywhere else.

It was Jim's belief that the concept of channel groups was a scam by the
manufacturers, so he would use Gp A and Gp B aerials interchangeably. I
showed him a Group CD aerial one time and he said, "That's a funny little
****er! What's it for?"

He 'knew' that FM radio came from Belmont and nowhere else, and Belmont
was 'towards Armthorpe' so he would always point his FM aerials at
Armthorpe pit tip, and ignore the fact that the customer's tuner would
still find Holme Moss giving the strongest signal. As it happened Jim used
three-element FM aerials that didn't have a folded dipole or balun, and
these matched the cable so badly that most of the signal was picked up on
the coaxial outer and passed up to the aerial terminals, so really it didn't
matter which way the aerial was pointing. There might as well have not
been an aerial at all.

Jim rung me up one evening. "You won't believe what's happened Bill!" He'd
been picked out of the Yellow Pages with a pin by some imbecilic council
officer and called out at 9pm to a large communal system. He'd poked
around in a tap-off unit and shorted out the line power. "There was a
spark and now all the tellys have gone off completely on the whole estate!
How can you get a spark from an aerial cable? There shouldn't be
electricity on it! Why have all the tellys gone off? What shall I do?
HELP!" I tried to explain about fuses and said that he'd have to find the
head end but he said it was all too much and it was doing his head in so
he just left it. I don't know who finally fixed it but it wasn't me.

Jim was a nice bloke, in the same way that a Labrador is nice dog. You'd
trust a nice old lab to not eat your baby and to generally **** in the
right place, but you wouldn't expect it to wash the pots or drive the kids
to school. So it was with Jim.



  #3  
Old April 30th 17, 09:56 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
PLC
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 14
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

On 30/04/2017 05:11, Bill Wright wrote:
Aerial riggers I have known
Part One: Jimmy

It was a long time ago in a strange land called Doncaster. Jimmy had a
Beatles haircut and Rolf Harris glasses. His wife had a shop and she
used to keep him, really, because his efforts to install aerials can’t
have ever made much money. He spent most of his time going back to jobs
and trying to get the customer a decent TV picture. He had some firmly
held and totally erroneous ideas. He would only work in Doncaster, in
the town, ‘because of the petrol cost’. The truth was that his battered
estate car broke down such a lot that he didn’t like to go too far.

In Doncaster he pointed his TV aerials at Cusworth Hall, ‘because it’s
in the same direction as the TV station.’ That was actually true in the
town centre but well wrong everywhere else.

It was Jim’s belief that the concept of channel groups was a scam by the
manufacturers, so he would use Gp A and Gp B aerials interchangeably. I
showed him a Group CD aerial one time and he said, “That’s a funny
little ****er! What’s it for?”

He ‘knew’ that FM radio came from Belmont and nowhere else, and Belmont
was ‘towards Armthorpe’ so he would always point his FM aerials at
Armthorpe pit tip, and ignore the fact that the customer’s tuner would
still find Holme Moss giving the strongest signal. As it happened Jim
used three-element FM aerials that didn’t have a folded dipole or balun,
and these matched the cable so badly that most of the signal was picked
up on the coaxial outer and passed up to the aerial terminals, so really
it didn’t matter which way the aerial was pointing. There might as well
have not been an aerial at all.

Jim rung me up one evening. “You won’t believe what’s happened Bill!”
He’d been picked out of the Yellow Pages with a pin by some imbecilic
council officer and called out at 9pm to a large communal system. He’d
poked around in a tap-off unit and shorted out the line power. “There
was a spark and now all the tellys have gone off completely on the whole
estate! How can you get a spark from an aerial cable? There shouldn’t be
electricity on it! Why have all the tellys gone off? What shall I do?
HELP!” I tried to explain about fuses and said that he’d have to find
the head end but he said it was all too much and it was doing his head
in so he just left it. I don’t know who finally fixed it but it wasn’t me.

Jim was a nice bloke, in the same way that a Labrador is nice dog. You’d
trust a nice old lab to not eat your baby and to generally **** in the
right place, but you wouldn’t expect it to wash the pots or drive the
kids to school. So it was with Jim.


Brilliant! I look forward to future episodes.
--
Peter Crosland

Reply address is valid
  #4  
Old April 30th 17, 01:52 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Bill Wright[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,618
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

On 30/04/2017 10:56, PLC wrote:

Brilliant! I look forward to future episodes.



Aerial riggers I have known
Part Two: Ernie

Ernie was a driver for the NHS, working nights. The pay was poor, and
when he suddenly needed more money he decided to be an aerial rigger
during the day. The need for extra money was to help support his sister,
whose husband was an habitual burglar who had come up against an
occupational hazard: imprisonment.
Ernie had a strange physique; strange that is for a human but fairly
normal for a monkey. When he first appeared at the wholesalers he was
quickly christened ‘monkey man’ by the other customers. He was about
five foot four, with short bowed legs and long arms. When he grinned the
resemblance to a monkey giving its ‘I’m scared’ grimace was uncanny, and
a bit unnerving. I used to think he might suddenly jump onto my head and
bite me.
He was a brilliant dancer. I saw him once in the Trades and Labour when
they had a rock n’ roll group on, and his cavorting around the floor was
quite astonishing. I think some people were expecting the men from the
zoo to turn up at any minute to recapture him.
The way he climbed a ladder was pretty impressive as well. He used his
arms as much as his legs, pulling himself up. On the roof he would
gambol about without a care. It was horrifying to watch.
Sometimes Ernie would combine his two jobs, and on one occasion turned
up at a customer’s house in an ambulance at eleven pm to tune-in their
telly.
Ernie’s great weakness was drink. He was an alcoholic and had to keep
‘topping up’ all the time. This made his rooftop antics all the more
impressive. One evening he rang me up. “Do us a favour Bill. It’s this
old cow, she’s near you on Chamberlain Avenue, I was there this teatime,
now her picture’s gone off. Look I’ll be honest with yer, I was a bit
worse for wear when I did it.”
“Why don’t you go back yourself?”
“Ohh, can’t mate, can’t. Can’t drive right now. Not sure I can walk. Bit
too far gone I think.” He cackled like mad. He was clearly very ****ed
indeed.
I knew it was a nothing job but I went to it. Ernie had forgotten to
tighten the J bolts and the whole rig had tipped over.
Unsurprisingly Ernie died in his mid-fifties. He didn’t fall from a roof
or crash his ambulance; his liver packed up.

  #5  
Old April 30th 17, 03:10 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Brian-Gaff
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 553
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

There was one around here in the late 70s who we called the crusher. Every
aerial he installed used very thin walled ally masts and it was crushed by
the clamp resulting in the next high wind aerials bent over pointing at the
ground, detached completely or wobbling about like a demented haunted bit of
modern art.
Never did find out who it was, but it was a company used by Comet I
understand.
Brian

--
From the Sofa of Brian Gaff Reply address is active
Remember, if you don't like where I post
or what I say, you don't have to
read my posts! :-)
"PLC" wrote in message
o.uk...
On 30/04/2017 05:11, Bill Wright wrote:
Aerial riggers I have known
Part One: Jimmy

It was a long time ago in a strange land called Doncaster. Jimmy had a
Beatles haircut and Rolf Harris glasses. His wife had a shop and she
used to keep him, really, because his efforts to install aerials can?Tt
have ever made much money. He spent most of his time going back to jobs
and trying to get the customer a decent TV picture. He had some firmly
held and totally erroneous ideas. He would only work in Doncaster, in
the town, ?~because of the petrol cost?T. The truth was that his
battered
estate car broke down such a lot that he didn?Tt like to go too far.

In Doncaster he pointed his TV aerials at Cusworth Hall, ?~because
it?Ts
in the same direction as the TV station.?T That was actually true in the
town centre but well wrong everywhere else.

It was Jim?Ts belief that the concept of channel groups was a scam by
the
manufacturers, so he would use Gp A and Gp B aerials interchangeably. I
showed him a Group CD aerial one time and he said, ?oThat?Ts a funny
little ****er! What?Ts it for??

He ?~knew?T that FM radio came from Belmont and nowhere else, and
Belmont
was ?~towards Armthorpe?T so he would always point his FM aerials at
Armthorpe pit tip, and ignore the fact that the customer?Ts tuner would
still find Holme Moss giving the strongest signal. As it happened Jim
used three-element FM aerials that didn?Tt have a folded dipole or
balun,
and these matched the cable so badly that most of the signal was picked
up on the coaxial outer and passed up to the aerial terminals, so really
it didn?Tt matter which way the aerial was pointing. There might as well
have not been an aerial at all.

Jim rung me up one evening. ?oYou won?Tt believe what?Ts happened
Bill!?
He?Td been picked out of the Yellow Pages with a pin by some imbecilic
council officer and called out at 9pm to a large communal system. He?Td
poked around in a tap-off unit and shorted out the line power. ?oThere
was a spark and now all the tellys have gone off completely on the whole
estate! How can you get a spark from an aerial cable? There shouldn?Tt
be
electricity on it! Why have all the tellys gone off? What shall I do?
HELP!? I tried to explain about fuses and said that he?Td have to find
the head end but he said it was all too much and it was doing his head
in so he just left it. I don?Tt know who finally fixed it but it
wasn?Tt me.

Jim was a nice bloke, in the same way that a Labrador is nice dog.
You?Td
trust a nice old lab to not eat your baby and to generally **** in the
right place, but you wouldn?Tt expect it to wash the pots or drive the
kids to school. So it was with Jim.


Brilliant! I look forward to future episodes.
--
Peter Crosland

Reply address is valid



  #6  
Old April 30th 17, 03:18 PM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Bill Wright[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,618
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

On 30/04/2017 16:10, Brian-Gaff wrote:
There was one around here in the late 70s who we called the crusher. Every
aerial he installed used very thin walled ally masts and it was crushed by
the clamp resulting in the next high wind aerials bent over pointing at the
ground, detached completely or wobbling about like a demented haunted bit of
modern art.
Never did find out who it was, but it was a company used by Comet I
understand.
Brian

That figures.

Bill
  #7  
Old May 1st 17, 08:10 AM posted to uk.tech.digital-tv
Brian Gaff
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 6,505
Default Aerial riggers I have known. Part One: Jimmy

When I started to lose my sight I got a well recommended company in to fit
an aerial for tv, fm and a discone for my scanner. One day it came loose
from the wall on one side of the bracket. On looking at it it seemed for
some unknown reason the person who had fitted it had used three rawl bolts
and one grotty plastic rawl plug. It was about two years on but strangely
the company was no longer in existence. So much for recommendations.
Bodgit and run was not their name, but should have been I think.



Sometimes people underestimate the leverage on the mountings of an aerial on
top of a hill in a windy place with large aerials on it.


Brian

--
----- -
This newsgroup posting comes to you directly from...
The Sofa of Brian Gaff...

Blind user, so no pictures please!
"Bill Wright" wrote in message
news
On 30/04/2017 16:10, Brian-Gaff wrote:
There was one around here in the late 70s who we called the crusher.
Every
aerial he installed used very thin walled ally masts and it was crushed
by
the clamp resulting in the next high wind aerials bent over pointing at
the
ground, detached completely or wobbling about like a demented haunted bit
of
modern art.
Never did find out who it was, but it was a company used by Comet I
understand.
Brian

That figures.

Bill



 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:13 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 2.4.0
Copyright 2004-2017 Digital TV Banter.
The comments are property of their posters.